


cry out what you need to.

by lanestreets



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Angst, Minor Character Death, Single Dad Dick Grayson, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanestreets/pseuds/lanestreets
Summary: “Okay, so, you know my partner, Amy Rohrbach? She died, on Sunday. And she had a daughter. She’s five years old and she had no other family and they were going to put her in the system and I just felt so--”“Dick, did you adopt the kid?”“I adopted the kid.”Or, the one where Dick adopts a child, learns to balance parenting and superheroing, and falls in love, not necessarily in that order.





	1. bury my heart under the floorboard

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to frankencanon central! additional tags will be added as necessary.

Dick has no idea what he’s doing, if he’s being honest with himself. He doesn’t know what possessed him to agreed to do this, or why he thought it was a good idea, or why he thought he is at all qualified to raise a whole child by himself.

But the important thing is that he’s done it. 

And he cannot undo it.

He’s a dad now, and dear god if that is not the most terrifying goddamn thing. Scarier than facing the Joker, or an angry Alfred, or Babs after he’s done something stupid. 

But what else could he have done? 

Amy Rohrbach was the best partner he’d ever had, probably the best cop Gotham PD has ever seen, and she had died because he had failed to watch her back. He had been sloppy in the field, and it was because of that that Amy had died. It was because of him that her five year old daughter was an orphan now, with no close family to look after her. So what else could he have done, besides take the kid in? He had failed to look after her mother, he wasn’t about to fail the kid too. His foster license is always up to date, in case a kid in the middle of a case needs a temporary placement for a day or two until they can be safely placed into a more permanent foster home, so it was just a matter of filing a bit of paperwork. A few signatures and a hearing with a judge, and he’s a dad. 

He’s only a little bit completely out of his depth. 

He gains custody of Rona Rohrbach, moves her into the penthouse, and begins to make funeral arrangements for Amy all in the same day. It feels like the day drags on forever. 

He can’t imagine how it feels for Rona. 

The next few days pass in a haze, and before he knows it, he’s holding Rona’s hand while they put her mother in the ground. He wonders if this is how Pop Haly felt, when he stood by and watched Dick watch his parents get buried. Dick’s chest feels tight as he watches Amy’s casket lowered into the grave, and he swipes away a few stray tears. He’s never much cared about people seeing him cry, but right now, he has to be strong for Rona. He’ll have time to really mourn later. For now, he’s got a little girl to be there for. 

He holds tight to her hand as they step forward to toss white roses into the grave, and then Rona turns around and clutches at Dick’s leg. As the funeral party disperses, she starts sobbing, big fat tears that soak into his suit pants, crying hard enough that not a single sound escapes her. 

Dick scoops her up, and holds her tight, and walks them both back to his car, the one he “borrowed” from the penthouse garage, because his bike is not suitable for transporting a young child. He settles her into the back seat and climbs in on the other side and just sits for a minute, letting her cry out what she needs to. 

“Rona?” Dick says softly, when she finally seems to settle a bit. 

She sniffles miserably, and swipes her snotty nose on the back of her hand and looks at Dick with big wet eyes. “I miss my mommy,” she says, with a trembling lower lip. 

Dick’s heart clenches in his chest as he reaches out to take her hand. “I know sweetheart. I know you miss her, and I’m so sorry that you can’t see her. I miss her too. But she’ll always be here with you, right here,” he says, tapping over his own heart twice. “And I’m going to be here to look after you, since she can’t. We’ll take it one step at a time, and we’ll do it together, okay? So, first step. How about we go back home now, and I’ll make us some dinner, if you’re up for eating something?” 

She nods, and sniffles again, and Dick makes a mental note to stash a box of tissues in the car from now on as he climbs into the driver’s seat and takes them home. 

When they get back to the penthouse, he takes her into the room that’s been claimed as hers and helps her change from the uncomfortable dress she’d worn for the funeral into something more comfortable. He leads the way back to the living room, then, and sits her down on the couch, flipping on the TV and passing her the remote, to let her switch through channels until she settles on some kids show he’s certain she’s not paying attention to. 

“How do we feel about spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, huh?” he asks, hoping to get some kind of reaction from her. 

She only nods, though, and mutters a quiet, “Yes, please.”

Dick sighs and heads for the kitchen. He supposes that he can only do so much for a little girl who’s just lost her mother, but he still wishes he could be doing more. He is tracking the man who shot Amy, the only one who got away from that scene, and he is going to bring them to justice if it’s the last thing he does, but that still doesn’t feel like enough. 

And then, he reminds himself that it cannot be the last thing he does. He has a child to look after now, and that has to come before anything else, because he will not leave her alone again. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose as he watches a pot of water waiting for it to boil. 

As he watches a single bubble rise to the surface, he is hit with the most terrifying realization he’s ever had. 

He hasn’t told Alfred yet. 

He hasn’t told Bruce or Babs or any of his siblings, for that matter, but the more pressing thing is the fact that he hasn’t told Alfred, because Alfred is the one that scares him.

Dick spends the rest of the time he’s making dinner debating what to do about that, and almost overcooks everything he gets so distracted thinking about it. Still, he does manage to get dinner on the table without major incident. When he calls her, Rona hops off the couch and goes to the kitchen, and asks if he wants her to set the table, as though this is a routine they’ve worked on for years, even though she’s only lived with him for three days. 

He dishes her out some food as she places the cutlery and napkins he’d given her out on the table, and he’s just about to hand her the plate when he remembers something that Roy had done for Lian when he’d had dinner with them once, a few months ago. Instead of handing her the plate as is, Dick takes a moment to cut everything into bite sized pieces, and places that in front of her. 

As he expected she would, Rona does nothing more than pick at her food, but he doesn’t say anything about it, besides encouraging her to eat some vegetables.

“I’ve got to make a phone call after dinner, okay, kiddo? So after I clean up dinner, I’m going to do that, and then I’ll help you get ready for bed when I’m done, okay?” Rona nods, and stabs a green bean with more force than is probably necessary, dragging it through the pasta sauce on her plate. “While I’m on the phone, why don’t you pick out a book for us to read before bed? We brought a few from your house, remember?” She nods again, though she seems to perk up a little bit at that, and then they lapse into relative silence for the rest of the meal. 

When Dick finally gives up on Rona eating anything more, he tells her she’s excused, and she slips away with a quiet, “Thanks for dinner.” 

As he tidies up, he tries to make a plan for the immediate future. 

It’s a Wednesday, and Rona’s already missed the week of school up until this point, so he figures there’s no reason to make her go for the rest of the week, so he’ll let her take Thursday and Friday off, to give her a chance to get used to the sudden change in everything. Maybe he’ll take Friday to take her out to the manor to meet Alfred and Bruce and whoever else is there. He knows Jason and Cass are in Star City working a case with Roy and Dinah, and Tim is in Metropolis running down a few leads for something else with Kon, and Damian will likely be in school on a weekday, so it’s a good time to go, so she won’t be overwhelmed. They can take Saturday, and Sunday if need be to go back to the Rohrbach’s place to pack up all of Rona’s things, and he’ll go back and pack up the rest of the house while she’s at school the next week so she doesn’t have to see her whole life put away in boxes. He’ll have everything put away in storage somewhere so Rona can decide what she wants to do with it all of it when she gets older, and have the house put on the market, and put whatever money is made off of that into a savings account for Rona for college or something.

He’s got all of next week off of work, so he’ll be able to make it work, and maybe he’ll be able to recruit Steph to help if he asks her nice and buys her a bottle of wine. Maybe he’ll offer to let her use his motorcycle too. Doesn’t seem like it’ll be getting much use, what with the kid and everything, and he’d hate to let it sit unused, and with Steph in college, she doesn’t have the income to have a car, so she’d probably appreciate it. Yeah. He’ll do that. 

First things first though, he has to call Alfred and Bruce. 

His heart races as the line rings. 

“Hello, Master Dick, excellent timing, I’ve just finished tidying up from supper,” Alfred’s voice says on the other end of the line when the ringing stops.

Dick takes a deep breath and tries not to jitter straight out of his skin. 

“Hey, Alfie, is Bruce around? I want to talk to you both.”

“Are you quite alright? You don’t sound well.” Dick can hear the concern lacing Alfred’s voice, and his footsteps as he moves through the manor. 

“I’m fine, I promise, I’ve just got some big news.”

“I see,” Alfred says, and then quieter, as though he’s pulled the phone away from his face, “Master Bruce, Master Dick is on the line, he wishes to speak to us both.” 

“Dick, you’re on speaker, what’s going on?” says Bruce’s voice. 

Dick takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Okay, so, you know my partner, Amy Rohrbach?” When he hears answers to the affirmative, he continues. “She died, on Sunday. She was shot while we were out on a call, and I couldn’t… I tried, but there was nothing I could’ve done. Her funeral was today.”

“Dick, I’m so sorry.”

“That’s not it,” Dick says, before Bruce can get any further. “Rohrbach… Amy had a daughter. She’s five years old and she had no other family that could be found and they were going to put her in the system and I just felt so-- I couldn’t let that happen. And you know I already had the foster license so I just--”

“Dick, did you adopt the kid?”

“I adopted the kid.”

“I know you wanted to do good by this girl, but did you really think this through, Dick? A child is a lot of responsibility.”

Alfred clears his throat. “Pot, I invite you to meet the kettle.”

Dick stifles a laugh and Bruce grumbles something that Dick can’t make out, but that’s it. He doesn’t question the decision any further. 

“How is the young miss doing, then, Master Dick?” Alfred asks. 

“She’s missing her mom, but that’s only to be expected. She’s quiet and a little withdrawn, but she seems to be taking the move well at least. Small mercies, and all that.”

“You’ve brought her to your apartment? Master Dick that is hardly the best place for a child to be raised.”

“I know, I know. It was fine when I would take kids in for a night or two, but I know it’s not good for a kid. We’re at the penthouse. Temporarily at least. I was going to start looking for a better place soon.”

“Don’t bother,” Bruce says, in his strained, I-don’t-want-to-show-emotions voice. “Any granddaughter of mine only deserves the best. Stay there. I don’t want you worrying about apartment hunting on top of everything else. You’ve got enough on your plate.”

Dick heaves a sigh of relief. Holy shit is he glad Bruce just said that. Sure he would’ve been able to find a place just fine, it wouldn’t have been the tallest order. But he’s so glad that he doesn’t have to worry about that all on top of worrying about Rona and packing away his partner’s life to be stuck in a storage unit to gather dust. 

God he’s going to miss Amy. 

As distant as he had tried to keep himself at work, he couldn’t help but care for Amy. She was nothing but a good person, a good cop, and he knew she cared for her more than anything in the world. 

He shakes his head to shake the thought. He can be sad later. 

“I’m gonna keep her home from school the rest of the week, and I’ve got some time off work so she can have a chance to adjust to being here, and this weekend we’re going to go back to Amy’s place so I can let her decide what she wants to pack up and take with her. But I was hoping that on Friday we could stop by the manor? I know everyone else is out of town for a bit and I wanted to be able to introduce her to you without all of… that.”

“I know what you mean,” Bruce agrees, almost too easily. Dick coughs to cover an almost laugh. They both know their family can be overwhelming when they all get into one place. Dick knows he’s not innocent on that front either. “I’ll move some things around during the day. Bring her by for lunch.”

“That’s sounds good. Thank you, Bruce. Really. This is--Just thank you.”

“It’s not trouble at all, chum. Just do one thing for me?”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“You want to tell us what her name is?” 

Dick smacks himself in the forehead. “Her name is Rona.”


	2. pulling your last thread

Friday rolls around faster than Dick expected it too. For all that Thursday seemed to drag, it seems like it passed far too quickly at the same time. 

Rona seems to be settling in to living with him fairly well, though she’s still having trouble sleeping at night. Wednesday night, after the funeral, Rona hadn’t been ready to sleep even after Dick had read through three different books with her. Every time he’d gone to leave, she’d panic and her lip would tremble like she was going to cry. Finally, Dick, utterly exhausted from the day, had come up with an idea. He’d darted back to his room and come back with a battered stuffed elephant that hadn’t left his side since he was a child. 

“This is Zitka the Elephant,” Dick had told Rona in a soft voice. “Do you remember when your mommy told you that I grew up in a circus?”

“It was just a joke,” Rona had said, her nose wrinkling in disbelief.

“But it wasn’t!” Dick had replied in his best storytelling voice. “I grew up in a circus until I was ten years old, and my mommy and daddy and I used to fly! We’d go sailing through the air, but we would never fall, because we were the best at what we did. The best trapeze artists ever! The Flying Graysons! And when I was in the circus, there was an elephant, and her name was Zitka, and she was my best friend in the whole world. When I was about your age, I got this little stuffed version of Zitka, so she could be with me even when I wasn’t around her. She was always there to look out for me. But I’m big and grown up now, so I’m a little better at looking out for myself. Maybe, Zitka can hang out with you and look out for you for a little while, instead? She’s real good at keeping away all the spooky things at night.” 

Rona had nodded, a little reluctantly, and taken the stuffed elephant, and when Dick had gone to leave that time, she’d let him go without complaint, but that didn’t stop her from waking up with nightmares that night and the next. This whole parenting thing is turning out to be just as tiring as being Nightwing is. 

Which is why late Friday morning has him yawning as he drives through midday Gotham traffic, hoping that Alfred will make him a strong cup of coffee when they get to the manor. Maybe he can dip into the stash of really strong stuff that Tim keeps around for when he’s pulling an all nighter or two. He’s sure Tim won’t mind. 

Rona’s quiet the whole ride there, up until they reach the manor grounds. 

“Hey, Dick, is this a palace?” she asks, squishing her face up against the window, her expression morphing into something like awe. 

“It’s not a palace,” he says through another yawn. “This is Wayne Manor. This is where I grew up after I left the circus.”

“So your parents live here? You’re like a prince!” 

Dick laughs. “I only have a dad, and an Alfred. Alfred kinda like my grandpa. You’ll like him. He makes the best cookies and hot chocolate. I bet if you ask him really nicely, he’ll make you some today.”

“Hey if you’re a prince, does that mean that your dad’s a king?”

“I’m not a prince. It’s not a castle. Just a big old house,” he says, and Rona crosses her arms and pouts. 

“That’s not as fun.” 

“There’s still a couple suits of armor in the hallways. I’ll show them to you if you’re good.” 

Rona’s face lights up. “Really? That’s so cool! This place is definitely a castle!” 

Dick shakes his head a little exasperatedly, and a lot fondly. This is that happiest Rona’s looked all week. He can indulge this. “You’re right, kiddo. It’s kinda like a castle.”

“Then you’re definitely a prince.”

He stops the car at the end of the manor’s long driveway, and notes the car parked next to him, and then Rona gets tangled in her seatbelt and he’s distracted by needing to help her out. 

Alfred answers the door before they even need to knock. 

“Ah, Master Dick, and this must be the lovely Miss Rona,” he greets as he ushers them inside. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, young miss.”

“Hi Alf. Rona this is Alfred. I told you about him in the car.” 

“You make the cookies!” Rona exclaims, and Dick smacks a palm to his forehead. 

Alfred chuckles. “I do, indeed. In fact, I’ve got a batch fresh from the oven. I’m sure a taste of one won’t spoil your lunch.” He gives Dick a look, and even without it, he would have gotten that something was up. Alfred never allows sweets before a meal. 

“I trust your judgement.”

“I know you do, my boy. I’ll take Miss Rona down to the kitchen, if she’s alright with that.” Rona nods, enthusiastically. “Master Dick, you’ll find your father and your brother and sister in the den. We’ll be there shortly.”

Ah. That’s it. Jason and Cass are home from Star City early. 

Shit. 

Well, at least Damian and Tim aren’t there, so there’s no one for anyone to start fights with. Jason and Cass are a fairly tame pair of siblings, when they need to be. This’ll be fine. 

He hopes. 

Jason and Cass are in the den with Bruce as Alfred said, and Jason wastes no time commenting on how tired Dick looks. 

“You look like shit, dude.”

“Language,” Bruce chastises half-heartedly. Jason plows right through that. 

“And what are you doing here? Don’t you have a real job to be doing?” 

Dick slumps into an armchair and lets out a long groan. 

“Being a parent is hard, Bruce, why did you decide to do it  _ five _ times?”

Jason chokes on a sip of water, and nearly spews it all over the room. 

“Excuse me?” 

Dick sits up very abruptly. 

Cass and Jason are both staring at him with wide eyes, and Bruce is very obviously enjoying this. It occurs to Dick then that maybe he should have eased his siblings into this a little better.

He flaps his mouth like a fish for a second, trying to figure out how best to explain this, before Bruce takes pity on him. 

“Dick has taken it upon himself to adopt a child.”

Okay, maybe he doesn’t take that much pity on him. Maybe he’s just trying to make things worse for Dick, because he’s just like that. 

Cass furrows her eyebrows, and signs  _ What? _

Jason voices the same sentiment.

Dick sighs and covers his face with his hands. “My partner was killed in the line of duty last weekend. Her kid was gonna go into the system and I just couldn’t let that happen. I already had my foster license, and she already knew me, and I just thought it’d be best for her, instead of being tossed into some random foster home. So I adopted her. Or a judge awarded me custody of her. I have to talk to her and file paperwork and-- that’s not the point. Point is, she’s my kid now, for all intents and purposes.” 

Jason’s eyebrows creep towards his hairline. 

Cass breaks out in a grin, and signs,  _ Can we meet our niece? _

Dick lets out a breath he wasn’t really aware he was holding. He knew, logically, that none of his siblings would reject Rona. She’s just like all of them, after all. But there was still a lingering fear that something would go wrong. He supposes he’s just been a little stressed out lately. 

“She’s in the kitchen with Alfred. They’ll be up soon.” 

As if on cue, as soon as Dick says that, Alfred steps into the den, Rona clutching his hand, half a cookie in the other. She’s standing half behind Alfred, like she’s nervous about all the people in the room, so Dick stands and crosses the room to her. 

“Is it cool if I pick you up, kid?” he asks, and she nods once, and shoves the rest of the cookie into her mouth, and lets Dick pick her up and carry her to a couch with room for them both. She tucks herself into the corner of the couch when Dick lets her go, and flits her eyes nervously around the room. “Everyone, this is Rona. Rona, this is my dad, Bruce,” Bruce smiles and gives her a little wave, which she returns hesitantly, “and my sister, Cass.” Cass swipes her hand from her ear out in front of her to say hello, and Rona does something like a half salute to try to return the gesture. Cass signs  _ almost _ back at her, and Rona’s brow furrows in confusion.

She leans in close to Dick and whispers, not at all quietly, “What is she doing?”

Dick stifles a laugh, not wanting Rona to feel bad for asking questions. “Cass speaks in sign language, not with words, like we do.”

“What’s that mean?” 

“It means, that Cass doesn’t like to talk too much, so when she needs to tell us something, she uses her hands to say it. Each sign has a meaning, and when you put a bunch of them together it makes a sentence. It’s just like talking, you just use your hands. See?” he says, and then finger spells her name for her. “That’s how to spell your name in sign language!” 

Rona cocks her head to the side and tries, and mostly fails, to replicate Dick’s gestures. 

“I like that! It’s cool,” she declares and Cass beams. 

Dick breathes a sigh of relief, for what feels like the billionth time in the past week. He was worried when they met that Rona wouldn’t understand Cass’s need to use sign language. Seems like Amy did a pretty good job with her kid. 

He shoves that thought to the side and gestures to Jason. 

“And this is my brother Jason. I have two more brothers too, but you’ll meet them later, okay?” Rona looks a little relieved at that, and tries to replicate Cass’s greeting at Jason too. 

Jason actually smiles, a genuine smile, not the kind he forces when he needs to, and Dick is reminded, rather surprisingly, how much his brother really likes children, and how good he is with them.

“You’re almost there, pipsqueak,” Jason says, and Dick almost takes back the kind thoughts he had about him. But then he continues, “You’ve gotta tuck your thumb in to your palm a little more, almost like you’re trying to hold your own thumb, and then you put your hand by your ear, and swing it on forward.” He demonstrates, a little slower than Cass had, and Rona mimics him, and his smile only widens. Dick watches the whole thing in disbelief. 

He hasn’t seen Jason look so laid back since before he died. Maybe this whole situation will be good for more than just Rona. Dick doesn’t want to get his hopes up too high, but he indulges a little. A tiny bit of hope never hurt anyone. 

Rona giggles a little when Bruce and Jason both praise her for getting the sign correct, and though she’s still tucked into Dick’s side, like she’s too scared to part from him, she looks the happiest she’s been all week. Alfred comes back into the room then-- Dick hadn’t even seen him leave-- to call them all to the dining room for lunch, and Rona seems pretty enthusiastic about that too. Dick’s going to count today as a win. Whatever else happens will happen, and it may be bad, but this, right here, is enough to call today a good day. 

Lunch goes by without incident, and Dick thinks that this is the longest he’s been in a room with more than one of his siblings without it devolving into some form of argument, which only adds to the ‘positives’ tally for the day. Rona does tell Jason and Cass that Dick is a prince, because his dad lives in a castle, and that makes them both crack up, and that isn’t a really a positive. But then, Rona says that since Jason and Cass are Dick’s siblings, that means they must be a prince and a princess too, and they get very serious, very fast. Cass spends the rest of the meal drinking with her pinky up, snickering all the while, and Jason tries to put on a really terrible British accent for a second before Rona makes a face at him that has him breaking out in a grin again. 

It’s right then that the universe decides that it’s had enough of them having a good day, of course. 

As soon as Alfred clears the dishes away, Rona turns to Dick with a miserable look on her face, and tells him she has a stomach ache. She didn’t eat much of anything, which is pretty on par with how she’s been acting the past week, so it’s not lunch disagreeing with her, and he’d read that physical complaints are common in children going through the loss of a loved one. So he decides that it’s probably time for them to call it a day and head back to the penthouse. 

He thanks Alfred for the meal, and tells Bruce and his siblings he’ll talk to them later, and tucks Rona into the back seat of the car-- which Bruce teases him for taking-- and he takes them home. 

It’s still strange to think of it as home for him and Rona, Dick thinks as he carries Rona into her room and settles her under the covers on her bed. She’s his kid, now, but he’s definitely not her parent yet, for all that he is the one parenting her now. He feels like he’s walking a fine line between being a good parental figure and replacing her mother and he doesn’t want to tip the balance the wrong way. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to appear distant to her, just because he’s a little paranoid about how he’s taking care of her. He wants to be there for her in every way she needs, but he doesn’t want to be overbearing to her. 

He has no idea how Bruce managed to find that balance for five very different kids, who each came to him at a different age, from different familial situations. 

He thinks he should buy Bruce a gift, just for being a halfway competent parent. He deserves it. 

Dick’s startled out of his thoughts as he boils water to put in a hot water bottle by his phone ringing. He answers without checking the caller ID, because to be honest, he’s a little out of it. 

“Grayson.”

“West,” comes the reply, and Dick can actually feel the tension leave his body at the sound of Wally’s voice. He didn’t know who he was expecting on the other end of the line, but the fact that it’s Wally relieves him to no end. 

“Hey, Wall, how’s it going?” 

“I was gonna ask you the same. You’ve been kinda radio silent in the groupchat, even though Roy was telling us a bunch of ridiculous stories about your siblings. I just wanted to check up on you. Everyone was asking after you.”

Right. The groupchat they were in with the rest of the original six members of the Titans. Dick had turned off the notifications for it, because he didn’t want the constant buzzing while he was trying to establish some kind of real relationship with Rona, and a little because he didn’t think he could handle their antics at the moment.

“It’s been a crazy week. Even by Gotham standards.”

“You want me to come over tonight? I’ll bring a six pack and pretend to get tipsy with you and we can talk about it?” 

It takes every ounce of willpower in Dick’s entire body for him to decline the offer. There is nothing he wants more than to have his best friend there right then. Wally always knows how to make him feel better, he knows Dick better than even his family does. But Rona doesn’t need another new person today, doesn’t need yet another change right now. 

“Sorry, Wally, it’s probably not a good idea.”

“Dick, come on. Tell me what’s up. You’re kinda worrying me.”

Dick tells him everything, about Amy and Rona and how terrified he is about the fact that he has a kid now, the words leaving him in such a rush that he’s done explaining by the time the kettle goes off. He sets it to the side to cool to a more reasonable temperature, and heaves a deep breath. Fuck, it felt good to get that off his chest. 

“Jesus, dude. That’s intense,” Wally says, when Dick’s finally done. “Definitely not whelming.” 

The use of that word is what finally breaks Dick, and he bursts into peals of hysterical laughter. It’s right then and there that he decides that everything will be okay. He has his family and he has his friends and he has Wally. If he has them all, then Rona has them too. 

It’s all going to be okay.


	3. did you stand there all alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter dedicated to [@twinkothydrake](https://twinkothydrake.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for dealing with my absolute bullshit last night, thank you, you are a godsend

The weekend is hard, to say the least of it. 

Rona is up half of Friday night with a stomach ache, and nothing Dick tries to do helps, so he stays up with her, telling her stories about growing up in the circus, and about ridiculous things his siblings have done, just trying to distract her. 

He finally gets her to sleep, and passes out in his own bed, only for her to have a nightmare a couple hours later. It says something about how completely drained he is that he barely wakes up when she pads into his room. He wakes up Saturday morning, almost surprised that she’s curled up in the bed next to him. He’s really glad to know that she trusts him enough to come to him to protect her from the nightmares she’s having, but at the same time, he’s concerned about how exhausted he is. How do people do this? It makes no sense to him. 

Late Saturday morning, after a truly obscene amount of coffee, he brings Rona back to Amy’s place, so she can pick out what she wants to pack up and take to the penthouse. She spends the whole day asking Dick where her mother is and when she’s coming back and why she’s not there. That continues on into Sunday morning, when they’re unpacking everything, and finally Dick decides to sit her down and have a conversation about how her mom isn’t coming back, that she’s gone now, and Rona gets so upset with him she doesn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. 

He feels really shitty after that. 

Monday morning starts early. Dick has to drive Rona to school because he feels bad about putting her on the bus, and also sort of doesn’t know where the bus stop is yet, and she’s still not talking to him, but doesn’t want to get out of the car to go to school either and it’s very unpleasant for everyone involved. But he does get her out of the car and into the classroom, finally, with a note in hand for her to give to the teacher, asking if he can meet with her after the school day lets out. 

That’s one hurdle done for the day. 

As soon as Rona’s off, Dick pulls out his phone and calls Steph, because there’s no way he can go back to Amy’s again and start packing up her whole life on his own. 

“Hello Dickalicious, how can I help you this fine Monday morning? By which I mean, it’s eight in the goddamn morning on my day off, why are you calling me?”

“Hello to you to, Stephanie.”

“I’m about to hang up on you, get to it.”

“Short version, I need your help packing up house today.”

There’s a pause, and some shuffling, and a heavy, dramatic sigh, followed by an equally dramatic groan. “What’s in it for me if I say yes?”

“I’ll buy you two bottles of your favorite wine, the really expensive kind, and I’ll give you my motorcycle for the foreseeable future.”

“Yes!” Steph exclaims, before Dick’s even got the whole sentence out. He smiles to himself at the reaction. “I’ll be honest, I’d do it just for the wine, but the bike makes it unrefusable. One more thing though.”

“What’s that?” 

“You’ve gotta tell me the longer version of this story, and also why you’re giving up your bike just like that. That thing’s your baby.”

“Yeah. Well. Been a crazy week.”

“Dickard, it is Monday morning.” 

“Shut up. I’ll be outside your apartment in half an hour. Yes I will bring you coffee. Be ready when I get there.”

“Yes, sir!” she says in a mocking tone, and then the line goes dead. 

Dick tosses his phone to the side and wonders if he should have asked Jason instead for a brief moment, and then pulls out of the school parking lot. 

True to his word, he is outside of Steph’s apartment half an hour later with one of those too big, too sweet, ungodly concoctions from Starbucks that she likes, and true to her word, Steph’s there waiting for him outside the building. 

She climbs into the car and is happy to sit in silence, sipping her stupid gross coffee until Dick pulls into the driveway of Amy’s house, a little one story place in a nice neighborhood in the suburbs just outside of downtown Gotham. Well, as nice of a neighborhood as you can get in Gotham, but still. He turns the car off, and retrieves the keys he’d gotten from Amy’s personal belongings, and the stack of boxes he’d picked up last week, and leads the way up the walk. 

They get inside before Steph finally can’t stop herself from asking what’s going on. Dick’s honestly impressed. 

“Okay, spill, dude, what are we doing here? Whose house is this? Why are we packing it up. Why are you  _ giving me your bike _ ? I’m dying here, man, I need to know!”

Dick sighs and shakes his head. 

“Okay. The abridged version? My partner died last week. I adopted her kid. This is her house, we’re packing up everything to either donate or put in storage for Rona to decide what to do with when she’s old enough. I’m giving you my bike, because I don’t want to get rid of it, but I can’t drive a kid around on it, and I don’t want want it just sit there and gather rust. Plus, I trust you not to wreck it more than I trust any of my siblings.” Steph stares at him with wide eyes, and just blinks for a couple seconds, her mouth hanging open. “So. Wanna start with the kitchen? We can throw out all the perishable food, pack up the non perishables to bring to the food shelter, and all the kitchenware can go in boxes to be donated.”

“Dick, hold up. Hang on. Just.” Steph grabs him by the arm, and stares him dead in the eye for a second. “What the fuck, dude. That’s--You just adopted a kid? Just. Out of nowhere? Just adopted a kid. A whole entire child?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Oh my god, you’re turning into Bruce.”

“Yep. Pretty much,” he says again, a little less enthusiastically. 

“Have you told Tim? I wanna tell Tim, can I tell Tim?”

“Go nuts,” Dick says and as she fist pumps, he heads for the kitchen. 

After she sends out a text to Tim, he assumes, Steph joins him in the kitchen, and gets right to working, taking one of the flattened boxes and folding it open. 

“Alright. So, everything here is getting packed up to be donated?” Dick nods. “Cool. I’ll start on kitchenware if you want to get started on dealing with the food,” she offers, and then, after a beat, she adds, “And D? I’m sorry about your partner. I know you really cared about her.” 

Dick is really glad that he asked Steph to help him. 

They continue on in near silence for a while after that, until Steph asks about Rona, and Dick is all too happy to talk about her. Steph is more than happy to listen, too, so that fills the silence for a while. When noon rolls around, Dick orders a pizza for them and Steph asks him to marry her over it, and he thinks she’s only half kidding. They continue to pack things away and labelling and stacking boxes in corners as they go. 

It’s edging towards one in the afternoon, when Dick finally calls it. They’ve gotten a lot done, the whole kitchen and and living room are boxed up, and the office is started on, and Dick’s loathe to stop productivity right in the middle of it, but he has to go pick up Rona from school.

He drives straight from the house to the school, just before kindergarten classes let out. 

Steph wrinkles her nose at him. “Why am I here?”

Dick digs around in his jacket pocket for a second before coming up with the key he’s looking for. He dangles it in front of Steph’s face, and she almost goes cross eyed looking at it. 

“This is the key to my bike. If you come in with me and watch Rona while I have a quick meeting with her teacher, you can take it home today. Otherwise, I’m gonna make you help me with something else before I give it to you.” Steph huffs, but she still agrees, swiping the keys from Dick’s hand and climbing out of the car with him. 

“I hate you, you know that? You’re the worst.”

“Sure.” 

They sign in at the front office and make their way through cheerily decorated hallways, with ‘VISITOR!’ stickers plastered on their fronts and Dick feels very out of place. He’s not a parent. This isn’t right. 

But he has a kid to look out for, and that’s all that matters. 

When Dick knocks on the door for Val Hanssen’s classroom, she’s just finished ushering the last kid out the back door that leads right to a drive for the busses and parent to pick up children from the kindergarten classrooms. 

She opens the door with a too bright smile on her face and Dick wants to cringe, but he doesn’t. 

“Wow! When I saw the name Richard Grayson, I never expected that it would be  _ the _ Dick Grayson! It’s so nice to meet you!” she greets, and Steph does cringe then. 

“Nice to meet you too, Ms. Hanssen,” he says, almost dismissively, his attention drawn to where Rona’s sitting too quietly at her desk. He kneels next to her and places a hand on her shoulder gently. “Hey, Ro.” Rona smiles as soon as she sees him, and she throws her arms around his neck, squeezing so tight he almost can’t breathe for a second. “Strong grip there, kiddo. Listen, I’ve gotta talk to your teacher for a minute before we go home, but this is my friend Steph. She’s gonna sit with you outside for a minute, if that’s okay?”

Rona follows his glance over his shoulder at Steph. Steph pulls a face. Rona giggles at her and agrees. 

“Come on, short stuff, let’s get your stuff and hang out for a bit,” Steph says. Rona gathers her backpack and jacket and follows Steph out into the hall as Dick takes a seat with the teacher. 

“You and your girlfriend are very sweet together, Mr. Grayson. It’s very kind of you two to take Rona in like this,” Hanssen starts off. 

“Please, just call me Dick. And Steph’s just a family friend. She was just helping me pack away some of Rona’s mother’s things today.”

“Oh!” her face goes red very abruptly and Dick has to stop himself from laughing. If he had a dollar for every time someone assumed he and the friend he was with were dating, he’d be as rich as Bruce. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to assume anything.”

“Don’t worry about it. Happens all the time. Now, about Rona. I just wanted to be able to talk to you a bit about the whole situation. I don’t know if you were informed about anything, but I wanted to be sure that we could communicate, especially with everything going on.”

Ms. Hanssen pulls out a binder and flips through it to a page with Rona’s name at the top, grades and notes taken down in the rest of the blank space. “Well, the front office did tell me you filed paperwork to have yourself listed as her legal guardian, so I know that much. Are you aware of anything regarding Rona’s schooling?”

Dick shrugs. “No, nothing, really. I’m not a relative. I was her mother’s partner on the police force. But I have physical and legal custody of her, now.”

“Alright, well, Rona’s excelled with all of the work that’s been given to her so far, so if she struggles for a little bit because of this, I’m not going to be too concerned. She was very withdrawn today, very quiet, when she’s usually more of an active participant in lessons. That’s only to be expected really, at first. I’m not too worried yet. Rona is doing as well as she can right now. We can only wait and see what the future brings, and help her as she needs it, but it seems like you’re doing everything to give her the support necessary. If you leave your email and phone number with me, I’d be happy to keep you updated on her progress moving forward.”

“That’d be great. I really just wanted to make sure we were on the same page for the future. Thank you so much, Ms. Hanssen.”

“My pleasure, Mr. Grayson. Feel free to contact me any time.” 

Dick leaves his contact information with her, and shakes her hand, gathers his jacket and leaves. It feels like releasing a held breath. Okay. He’s just done a real parenting thing. He really did it.

Go him. 

When he gets out into the hallway, Steph is standing on her hands, and Rona is watching in rapt attention. 

Goddammit. 

“I leave you alone with my kid for two seconds,” he grumbles as he grabs Steph by the waist and flips her right side up. “You’re in a school! Other classes are still going on! What are you doing?”

Steph shrugs, and takes Rona’s hand, and instead of answering him, says, “We’re gonna go get ice cream. Come on, Dicko.”

He wants to protest as they make their way out of the building, but he sees the look on Rona’s face, and after the weekend they’ve had, and the fact that she survived her first day back at school, he can’t find it in himself to say no. 

“If I’m buying you ice cream, Brown, you’re not getting that wine I promised you,” he counters, and when Steph is distracted making a noise of protest, Dick takes the opportunity to steal Rona away from her, swinging her up on his shoulders. He remembers doing this once when he’d had lunch with Amy and Rona, about a year ago. Rona squeals in delight now, just as she had back then. 

Amy’s not there to cackle and take a picture, not there to warn Dick that he’s going to get ketchup in his hair from Rona’s sticky hands, not there to see her daughter having fun. 

But Steph is there to smile and tease them, to take a picture to send to his family, to run ahead, whooping and cheering wildly about ice cream, to make an absolute fool out of herself to make Rona smile. 

It’s not the same, but it’s still good. 

~*~


	4. so i'll beat the drum and scream at the sun

Steph stays for dinner Monday night, and drives off on Dick’s motorcycle when they’re done. He gets Rona showered and put to bed, quickly as he can, and retreats to his own room, sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. It’s the first moment he’s had, his mind not addled by exhaustion and concern for Rona, to sit and truly process the past week. 

Amy’s dead. She’s gone, and when Dick goes back to work next week, he’ll be assigned a new partner, and life will move forward, even though Dick doesn’t want to. Rona has no mother now, no real parent, and as much as he can be there for her, and as much as he knows Steph, Cass and Babs will provide strong role models for her, Dick doesn’t know how to pick up the rest of the slack. He just started packing away his partner’s life, his closest friend outside of the superhero life, and in another day or two, it’ll be like she never existed at all, nothing left but a memory and a house for sale. 

Dick does the only thing he can think to do. 

He calls Wally, and he cries. 

He cries out what he needs to and tells Wally every concern he has about his sudden parenthood and how worried he is about Rona and his lack of ability to take care of her properly and how he doesn’t know what he’s doing and how he feels like he’s unprepared to go back to work without Amy by his side because she was his friend goddammit. She was more than just a coworker, more than just his partner. 

He takes a deep breath when he’s done unloading everything, and lets it out very shakily. 

“Sorry. That was a lot.”

“Holy shit, Dick.” 

“Sorry.” 

“No, shut up, don’t say sorry to me! You’ve been packing that all away ever since Amy died? God, I’m surprised you’ve-- you Bats and your fucking-- Dick. Dude, you’ve got to talk about these things. If you have a kid to worry about, you can’t be worrying about falling apart yourself. God, you worry me sometimes. Just. You gave me the okay to tell the group chat what’s going on with you, and I did. Roy’s obviously no stranger to unusual parenting situations, and the rest of us are more than happy to listen to whatever you’ve got to say. Just talk to us, Dick. You’re not alone. You’ve got us, you’ve got your family, and Babs and Steph. Don’t think you have to be Mr. Strong and Silent. You’re not Bruce.”

It’s kind of like a smack in the face, but it’s just what Dick needs, really. He can always count on Wally for that. Something warm blooms in his chest and he has to actively fight to stamp that far down and way back. Now is not the time for this quasi-crush to be rearing its ugly head. 

“I just hate bothering everyone,” Dick tries, but he knows it’s a thin excuse and he knows Wally will call him on it. 

“Shut up. Talk to your friend like a normal person. I’m gonna hang up now, and you’re going to text the group chat. If there’s nothing from you in the next ten minutes, I’m going to drop everything and run to Gotham, got it?”

It’s just the right amount of guilt to get Dick to agree. He can imagine the smug look on Wally’s face as he mutters out his assent. Wally hangs up with a laugh after Dick calls him something very unkind, and Dick takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know if he can really handle the full force of all of his friends right now, but he trusts Wally, so he’ll go along with it.

He double checks that Rona is soundly sleeping in her room, steps in and smooths the wrinkle in her forehead with his thumb, and just as his ten minutes is up, he sends a text to the group chat he’s had on mute for the past week. 

**[from bird boi, 9:32 PM]**

_ hey guys _

**[from wallington, 9:32 PM]**

_ nice to see you listened to me _

**[from dad bod, 9:33 PM]**

_ nice of you to let us know youre alive dick _

**[from mom, 9:33 PM]**

_ I can’t tell if you’re saying his name or insulting him but either way. _

_ Doesn’t matter. _

_ Nice to see you’re not dead. _

_ How’s the little one? _

**[from bird boi, 9:35 PM]**

_ thanks donna. _

_ she’s asleep right now. sorry i’ve been absent lately, it’s just been kind of a crazy week _

**[from mom, 9:36 PM]**

_ You’re welcome. _

_ And don’t worry about it. We understand. Just let us know what’s going on with you. Kind of sucks to have to learn you’ve become a father from Wally instead of from you. _

Dick winces to himself, where he’s tucked himself into the corner of the couch, wrapped in a blanket. He let Steph tell Tim about Rona, and he let Alfred and Bruce tell Damian, and while it was necessary because he’s been so busy, he feels bad that he couldn’t sit down and have a conversation with either of them, especially Damian. He really kind of wishes that he had waited, let the ten minutes pass so that Wally would have come to Gotham, so that he could just have someone there with him, because feeling bad on his own makes it even worse.

**[from bird boi, 9:40 PM]**

_ i’m really sorry. _

_ i’ve been kinda freaking out about all of this and the kid and i had to make funeral plans for amy.  _

_ sorry, not an excuse _

_ being a parent is hard _

**[from dad bod, 9:42 PM]**

_ be less hard on yourself dick, surprise parenthood is rough _

_ just dont be stupid you asshole, tell us whats going on with you every once in a while _

_ also, lians pissed off that she hasnt gotten to meet her favorite uncles kid so you have to deal with that now _

**[from bird boi, 9:43 PM]**

_ that’s the scariest thing that’s come out of this week _

_ side note: wheres garth in all of this? _

**[from mom, 9:44 PM]**

_ Garth’s got Atlantis business most of this week, he’s going to be in and out. _

_ But unlike you, Boy Blunder, Garth told us what he was doing so we’d know he was okay. _

**[from wallington, 9:45 PM]**

_ okay, okay, ease up on dick, hes had a bad week. _

**[from bird boi, 9:45 PM]**

_ thanks walls. _

**[from mom, 9:46 PM]**

_ I’m done now.  _

_ I’m sorry about your friend Dick. And I’m sorry we haven’t been able to be there for you. Soon as that little girl settles in, you’ve got to let us come visit her. I didn’t think we’d be getting a new niece so soon. I can’t wait to meet her. _

**[from dad bod, 9:47 PM]**

_ seconded. lian thinks she’s got a new built in best friend _

_ and i’m sorry about your partner too _

Dick smiles to himself, clutching the blanket wrapped around his shoulders closer to his chest. There is a deep, aching sadness still weighing heavy in his chest, making his ribs throb with it. Now that he’s thinking about it, that’s likely the month old rib injury he’s just beginning to really get over. But, he’s wallowing for a moment. So he’s going to be dramatic about it. 

Sue him.

**[from bird boi, 9:49 PM]**

_ thanks guys _

_ i’m going to try to finish clearing out as much of amy’s house tomorrow as i can before rona gets out of school. i did a lot with steph today but it’s harder than i thought it would be _

**[from dad bod, 9:50 PM]**

_ jesus dick, that’s brutal. i wish i could lend a hand but i promised i’d help ollie with something tomorrow _

**[from mom, 9:51 PM]**

_ I’m sorry I can’t help either. I’ve got meetings all day tomorrow. _

**[from bird boi, 9:51 PM]**

_ no guys, don’t worry about it!  _

**[from wallington, 9:52 PM]**

_ shut up and let us worry about you. _

_ youre our friend and we care about you and youre having a really shitty week. _

**[from dad bod, 9:53 PM]**

_ yeah shut up jackass _

**[from mom, 9:53 PM]**

_ Hey now. _

**[from dad bod, 9:54 PM]**

_ sorry mom _

_ point tho: youre not b, dont act like it _

**[from bird boi, 9:55 PM]**

_ you know, wally told me the same thing. _

**[from wallington, 9:56 PM]**

_ its the red hair, we all share a brain cell _

**[from dad bod, 9:59 PM]**

_ i was gnona get mad but jesusnfuck walls i just lost it at that _

**[from mom, 10:00 PM]**

_ Good lord you lot are like children. _

**[from wallington, 10:01 PM]**

_ you know it and you love it wonder chick _

**[from mom, 10:03 PM]**

_ You’re all insufferable and Garth’s my favorite now by default. _

**[from bird boi, 10:04 PM]**

_ HEY! i haven’t even done anything! _

**[from mom, 10:05 PM]**

_ Nope, you’re guilty by association because you’re here for all of this, you’re a part of this. Now I’m going to get a good night’s rest for once in my life, no one disturb me unless the world is ending, I have early meetings tomorrow morning, good night, heathens. _

Dick turns his phone off with a grin and wraps it in his hands, close against his chest. The profound sadness that Dick had felt crushing through his chest feels a little less crushing now that he’s talked to his friends. They never fail to lift his spirits.

His phone buzzes again and he glances down at it to see a single message from Wally.

**[from Walls, 10:10 PM]**

_ good luck tomorrow, dick. we love you buddy. let us know when you think the kiddo can handle some new people and we’ll all come over with lian for dinner. you’ve got this daddy-o. _

Dick almost cringes at the terrible nickname, half a wince and half a hysterical grin, and texts back a smiley face. He turns off his phone, and, checking in on Rona one last time, he heads to bed. He’s out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Unfortunately, he only gets a couple hours of sleep before he’s woken up by a tiny body kneeling on the edge of his bed. There’s a moment where he instinctively grabs for a weapon, for something to defend himself, before he pauses, thinking about what might actually be happening. The thought takes a moment to make its way through his sleep addled mind, but it does, and in the span of a few seconds, he goes from searching for some defense to his hand coming to rest on a tiny, trembling wrist. 

He looks up, and Rona is kneeling on the edge of the mattress, her eyes shining in the low light filtering in from the small night light in the hallway outside the half open door. 

She doesn’t say anything, just sits there, clutching Zitka the stuffed elephant in her other hand, and Dick sits up, gathering her up in his arms immediately. 

“Hey, sweetheart, what happened?” he says, the concern evident in his voice. “Did you have a bad dream again, honey?”

She nods miserably, hugging Zitka close to her chest, and burrowing into his arms. 

When she doesn’t say anything further, Dick settles down into bed a little further, holding her close. “Come on, you can stay in here with me tonight.” She nods again, her hair tickling the underside of his chin, little flyaways catching in the few days’ old stubble there. “Do you want me to tell you a story?” Another nod. Dick situates himself, half sitting, half lying against the headboard, getting Rona nestled into his side, partially draped across his chest. Her tiny hand curls into the thin material of Dick’s shirt, her face pressing into his side as she tries to stifle a sniffle.

“I miss my mommy,” she says, almost inaudibly.

Dick’s heart cracks.

“Well, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a little boy, and he could fly. He and his family could soar through the air just like birds, and people came from far and wide to watch them put on shows. But then one day, while they were performing at a fair for a prince, the little boy’s parents had an accident. While they were flying around for the show, their wings stopped working, and they fell to the ground.”

“This story is too sad,” Rona sniffs miserably, and Dick holds up a finger, poking her on the nose.

“But it’s going to get happier, just you wait. The little boy didn’t have his parents anymore, and that was terribly, terribly sad, and he thought he would never be happy again, because he missed his mommy and daddy very much. He was all by himself for a little while, until one day, the prince who they had been performing for found the little boy. The prince went up to the little boy, and offered to give him a home. Now, the little boy was worried about going to live with the prince, because the prince couldn’t fly, you see, and the little boy thought that the prince would try to make him live on the ground all the time. He thought the prince would take away his magic, and take away everything that reminded the boy of his parents. So the boy was very afraid. But he didn’t like being alone, even more than he was afraid, so he went to live with the prince. And when he got to the prince’s castle, the prince was very formal, and had a butler and it was nothing at all like what the boy was used to. But after he was there for a while, the prince did not take the boy’s magic away, so the boy took a chance, and he started flying around the castle, because he missed it so much. He was flying around the castle one day, and the prince caught him, and the boy was afraid the prince would be mad, but he wasn’t mad at all. In fact, the very next day, the prince had set up an arena in the castle, so that the boy could practice his flying and get better at it, and get to be stronger, so that the boy would never have his wings stop working like his parents’ had. And the boy said to the prince, ‘I thought you were going to take away my magic, so that I’d be more like you. I thought you’d take it, so that you’d be my new dad.’ And the prince told the boy, ‘I’d never take your magic from you. You’re special to me because you’re different from me. I am going to take care of you as best as I can, and I will love you like my own, and you will be my family, but I will never try to replace your parents. We’ll be family in a different way. And it will be just as good, but it won’t replace what you had with them.’ And the boy kept his magic, and later on, when the boy got brothers, and a sister, he taught them his magic too, and the prince even tried to learn the boy’s magic too. And they all became a family, and they were much different from the boy’s parents, but he loved them very much nonetheless.”

When Dick looks down, Rona is drifting off, no longer looking so upset. He presses a kiss to the top of her head, and settles a little deeper into the bed. 

“I’ll never take your magic from you, little one,” Dick mutters, and before he knows it, he’s drifting off too, cradling Rona close to his side.


	5. take what you need, say your goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FELLAS is is gay to love your best friend?

Tuesday morning rolls around with a jarring alarm from Dick’s phone. Rona startles awake with him, looking around to orient herself for a moment before calming down again. 

“Hey kiddo,” Dick says, stretching his arms over his head before wrapping his arms around her again. He brushes some stray hairs out of her face and readjusts them both so they’re sitting up a bit more. “Ready to start the day? What are you feeling for breakfast? I can whip up some eggs and bacon, or some cereal maybe, or some freezer waffles?” When Rona doesn’t answer right away, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and yawning widely, Dick continues, with a playful poke to her shoulder. “Or maybe, I’ll just find you some cat food. I hear that’s what you’re supposed to feed kids, right?” he teases.

Rona giggles at that and squirms away from Dick to slip off the bed. 

“You don’t feed kids cat food, Dick!” she laughs, skipping out of the room to her own. Dick follows her with a laugh, ignoring the slight twinge in his side as he stretches when his feet hit the floor. 

He heads to her room with her, nudging open the half shut door behind her, and pulls out an outfit for her approval. She nods once, and shoves her hair back out of her face with a huff.

Dick prods her towards the desk chair, and runs a brush through her hair, twisting it back into a pair of dutch braids to keep it out of her face.

“Where’d you learn to do this?” she asks him, eyes wide as she looks at her reflection in the mirror.

“My friends Babs and Donna taught me when I was younger, and I’ve had a lot of practice with them and my sister and my friend’s daughter, Lian. And I’ll tell you a secret. I used to have pretty long hair too, so I sometimes got to practice on myself.”

Rona looks thrilled by this explanation, but doesn’t dwell on it too long. “Can we have waffles for breakfast? And can you put Nutella on them? Like a lot of Nutella. It’s super good. Have you ever had them that way? It’s better when they’re real waffles but the kind you have are good too so it’s okay, let’s do that!”

Dick smiles at her, and doesn’t think about how Alfred would look at him for feeding the kid this way, and goes to throw on some clothes before heading into the kitchen to square away breakfast for them both. With only a slight wince, he slathers toasted freezer waffles with Nutella. His inner Alfred voice is very displeased, but he figures the kid deserves some sugary breakfasts after what she’s been through recently. 

Rona comes out of her room with her shoes on the wrong feet and a bit of a frown. She does perk up a bit at the sight of breakfast laid out before her, but she still looks a little unhappy.

“Hey squirt. You okay?”

“I don’t want to go to school today. All the kids know what happened to Mommy and they look at me weird and I don’t like it!”

Dick’s heart sinks as she clambers into a seat at the kitchen island. He hadn’t thought about the fact that Amy’s death might have made the news, that Rona’s classmates’ parents might have seen it and brought it up to their children, for whatever reason. To warn them of why their classmate might be missing school, or to caution them to be a little extra kind to her over the next couple of weeks, or any other number of reasons they might have brought it up to their children. Children who may have spread the news to their friends, who may have spread it to their friends, who would all act as children act. Unsubtly.

Dick should have thought of that. He lived it. 

But when he lived it, most of the looks he got were because he was a circus kid in a private school with some of the richest kids on the East Coast. He looks he got were because he was new, and he was The Bruce Wayne’s ward, and he was different, and he very clearly did not belong. The fact that he had dead parents was just the icing on the cake for those kids. 

Rona has nothing else to get in the way. 

All there is to focus on is the fact that her mother is gone. It’s not exactly public knowledge that he’s adopted Rona, and she’s still in the same school that she was before, and she’s still got all the same friends. 

This is all there is for the other kids to think about with her. 

Dick suddenly feels very guilty, that he can’t do anything to help his kid.

Then he has a moment of sheer terror at the thought of how quickly he’s started considering her his kid, instead of Amy’s daughter, who he is looking after in her memory. 

And then he snaps himself out of it, because his kid is in distress at the moment, and that is more important than whatever internal freak out he’s having right then.

“Sweetheart, I know it’s very hard right now. I know it feels like everyone is always looking at you, and you feel like everyone thinks you’re different, because of what happened to your mom, but I promise you, this doesn’t make you different. I’m sure that this is just the first time that anything like this has happened that they’ve ever heard of, and they probably don’t know how to react to it. It’s not because you’re different, or because you stand out more now. This is just something very serious, and not many kids your age have to experience it. So if they are looking at you funny, it’s because this is something very new, not because of you.” Dick cuts himself off there, because he thinks he’s rambling, no, he’s sure he’s rambling, and he doesn’t want to make things worse than they already are. 

Rona doesn’t respond, but she tucks into her breakfast, at least, and doesn’t complain about going to school again, so Dick will call it a win. 

The rest of the morning goes by without incident, and only minor protests at drop off time, and then Dick is off to Amy’s house again, with a fresh stack of boxes folded flat in the trunk of his car. 

He decides to just jump right in today, heading directly for Amy’s room, rather than trying to put it off again. He has a moment of regret, that he didn’t do this when he had Steph’s emotional support, or that he didn’t ask Cass to come, for her silent, strong support, or Jason, for his loud, abrasive distraction. God, even Bruce, with his awkward, broody demeanor around extreme emotions. 

Just, anyone, so he wouldn’t have to be alone, sitting on the edge of his partner’s bed, looking at a picture of her and her daughter, smiling into the camera. There’s another of Amy and Rona and Rona’s father, no longer around, and they all look so happy. The next frame he picks up is an image with him in it, actually, from a day they’d both been off from work, and they and Rona had joined a few of their coworkers for lunch, a rare sunny day in Gotham. The picture is taken from the back, the two of them walking side by side, with Rona on Dick’s shoulders, Amy smiling up at them while Dick looks down and pulls a face, Rona’s hands up in the air. If Dick hadn’t known any better, looking at this picture, he might assume that he and Amy were a couple, Rona their daughter. 

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until there’s a splash of a tear on the glass that covers the picture. 

He doesn’t realise there’s someone else in the house with him until they creep, near soundlessly into the room.

Dick almost startles, almost, until he sees the familiar shock of orange hair, and hears the familiar rumble of Wally’s voice. 

“Hey, buddy. How you hanging in there?” Wally asks, despite the fact that the answer is completely, painfully obvious on Dick’s face.

Wally takes a seat at Dick’s side on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“What did you-- how did-- shouldn’t you be at work?” Dick finally settles on, staring up at Wally in something akin to shock. Wally has a job that he should be at, and that does confuse Dick, but what’s even more confusing is the fact that he is in Gotham, instead of in Keystone, where he lives and works. 

“Keystone PD can live without a mechanic for a day. I took the day off to be here with you. I thought you might need some company. Looks like I was right, huh?”

Dick gives him a watery laugh and a sad sort of smile and leans into Wally’s touch.

He sniffles miserably and hangs his head. The comforting hand on his shoulder quickly turns into a full fledged hug. Dick buries his face in Wally’s shoulder, and shakes apart for longer than he’d care to admit 

“You didn’t have to come here, Walls,” he finally mutters.

“Of course I did, Dick. I love you, and you’re hurting.” God doesn’t that feel like a shot straight to the gut, Dick thinks, cause he does not love Wally the same way that Wally loves him, he’s almost certain. He loves him more, something fierce, something crushing, something all-encompassing and all consuming. Dick’s fucking head over heels in love with his best friend, and it hurts like a mother fucker.

Dick, however, says none of this.

What he says instead is, “I don’t deserve you.”

And Wally laughs, and gives Dick one last squeeze. “You’re right. You absolutely do not. Come one, man. Let’s get to work. You can’t expect me to speed my way through this so you don’t have to do any of the work,” he jokes, and Dick laughs, and hopes everything weighing on him doesn’t make it sound hollow. 

If it does, Wally doesn’t say a word.

Dick loves him a little more for that.

He takes one last look at the photo in his hand and tucks it away with the small pile of things he’s taking back to the penthouse with him, that he and Rona didn’t catch the first time around, things he thinks Rona should have to remember her mother by.

And then he and Wally get to work. 

Though he did joke about it, Wally keeps his speed relatively contained, working fast enough that they make it through the rest of the house before Dick needs to go pick up Rona, but slowly enough that he really has time to process it all as it happens. 

A half an hour before Dick even needs to think about leaving, Wally tapes shut the final box. 

There’s an air of finality now that Dick hasn’t felt yet, not even at the funeral.

Amy is gone. Rona is his. Dick is a guardian, a parent, a father. 

The box gets placed in the stack to be donated, and the things going back to the penthouse get loaded into Dick’s car, and as the trunk closes, it feels like that’s it. This is truly the end. Amy’s life is gone and packed away. The movers will come tomorrow to bring boxes to storage and to the donation center, and the house will go on the market.

But then Dick remembers.

Rona is still here. He still remembers Amy. 

She’s still with them. She’s not gone, not really.

And Dick’s got Wally at his side, so he doesn’t have to bear it all alone.

Maybe it’s not all bad after all.


	6. turned her tears to diamonds in her crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter for some dramatic effect?

Wally sticks around to direct the movers when they come later that afternoon, to make sure that the right things get to the donation center and the storage unit, and Dick thanks him profusely and promises to buy him dinner and leaves to pick up Rona from school. 

He gets a text from Wally later that evening, a selfie of him flashing a thumbs up in an empty living room, and not even a half hour later gets a text saying that Wally’s home safely, and that he hopes Dick’s feeling a little better. Dick smiles at his phone and sets about making dinner for Rona and helping her with the short worksheets she’s been assigned as homework, and getting an outfit set out for her for the next day, and before he knows it, he’s getting her showered and ready for bed, and collapsing into his own. 

God, raising a kid is exhausting. 

He wonders if he’ll ever be able to get back to being Nightwing with this kind of responsibility. 

It’s not like he’d be upset with Rona if he can’t go back to vigilante-ing. He’ll be sad sure. Nightwing is a huge part of who he is. Losing that will be a lot like losing a part of him, but there’s nothing saying he can never go back to it. There’s nothing saying he can’t put himself in the League reserves for now, go out for all hands on deck emergencies and leave Rona with Alfred if he really needs to, or take on training some of the younger heroes, Tim’s team or Damian’s. Work with newer supers who need the guidance. He can do a lot and still be a dad. Rona’s his top priority right now. Vigilante justice will still be there when he can get back to it. 

For now, Gotham won’t destroy itself with one less Bat on the streets. The world will keep on turning with one less permanent member of the Justice League. 

He falls asleep to that thought, and sleeps like the dead until his alarm goes off the next morning. He stretches, and goes to turn the coffee pot on to brew while he showers. He’s out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a soft henley he’s fairly certain he stole from one of his family members by the time the coffee’s done. His hair drips onto his shoulders while he leans against the counter in the kitchen, sipping carefully from a steaming mug and revelling a few moments of peace before he wakes up Rona to start her day. 

He rinses his mug in the sink and sets it aside, heading down the hall to Rona’s room, hoping this morning will be better than the day before. 

A sudden chill makes him shudder, and he makes a note to double check the thermostat. It’s just starting to show the first signs of spring outside, and he’s been having to fiddle with it to keep the penthouse at a comfortable temperature with the weather all over the place outside. 

When he knocks on Rona’s door softly and steps inside, she’s already awake, sitting on the edge of her bed, sniffling. Dick’s heart sinks. It’s gonna be a bad day again, then. 

“Rona, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asks, dropping to one knee next to her, so they’re at the same height. 

She lets out a heavy breath that might as well be a sob and scrubs at her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“I don’t wanna go to school! I wanna go home! I want my Mommy back! I hate this! Everyone looks at me funny and they talk about me and Ms. Hanssen treats me different than everybody else cause Mommy’s gone! It’s not fair! Everyone else’s mommies are still here! Why do they get to keep their but I don’t? It’s not fair!” she screeches, punctuating it by beating tiny fists against Dick’s chest. 

Fuck, it breaks his heart. It absolutely wrecks him to see his kid so distraught, so unhappy, in so much pain. 

She’s right. It’s not fair. 

It’s not fair that she lost her mom, and it’s not fair that she’s the only one without her real parents and it’s not fair that she’s in this shitty situation. 

It’s not fair that any sense of normalcy was ripped away from her by some careless jackass with a gun. He wonders if the guy considers the half million he made away with worth a human life. 

Then he shakes his head a bit. That is not a path he needs to go down right now. Not at all. Rona needs him. That’s what he needs to devote his energy to. 

Not how much he wants to choke the life out of the man who took Rona’s mother away from her. 

Nope. No. Not now. 

“Rona, come on Bug, it’s--”

“No!” Rona screams, cutting him off. “No! Only Mommy calls me that! You don’t call me that! Only Mommy does!”

Dick nearly physically recoils at the sudden outburst. He’s honestly surprised that he’s stayed put, he’s so shocked at it. 

He takes a breath and almost reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder. But before he can do more than raise his hand, he freezes. 

Or. 

More accurately. 

The water still clinging to his arm suddenly turns from drops into a swirl of ice, a beautiful fractal swooping over a portion of his forearm. His head goes cold as his still damp hair flash freezes, the whole room dropping a few degrees in temperature in less than a second. Dick shivers. 

He almost doesn’t dare look up from the ice on his arm. 

When he finally steels himself and chances a glance up at Rona, his breath catches in his throat, comes out in a startled puff that he can see in the air. 

Rona’s still curled up on the edge of the bed, her arms wrapped around her legs where they’re pulled to her chest, her toes peeking out from under the hem of her sweatpants. But her eyes are wide with fear now, and her hand is shaking where it was preemptively stretched out to bat Dick’s away.

Up to her elbows, both of her arms have gone black, like she’s got frostbite. 

The tips of her fingers are covered in ice crystals. 

Where there were tears on her face, now it’s just ice, in the same swooping, hauntingly beautiful pattern that’s crawling up Dick’s forearm. 

Her eyes are glowing a pale, pale, pale blue, and the skin around them has gone the same black as her arm, and Dick’s heart stutters for a moment, irrational panic flooding his system as he thinks, for one ridiculous moment, that someone has found out his identity, broken into the penthouse, and hurt his kid to get at him. 

And then it full out stops when he realizes what’s really happened. 

Rona did this herself. 

Rona’s a meta human.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not sorry for that end. as always, i love to hear from you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [cptnsmarvel!](http://cptnsmarvel.tumblr.com/)


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